For years and years it always was
The peak of my ambition-
To masquerade at Christmas time
Escaping recognition,

But fear of being known and named
Had dampened by decision-
My greatest social drawback is
My retiring disposition.
 

Last Christmas, after many hours
Of pro and contemplating,
I realized the time had come
To quit procrastinating,

And so I started to explore,
My long neglected attic;
(I disregarded damp and drafts
So bad for my rheumatic)
 

And there I found all strewn around,
In hopeless disarrangement,
Claw-hammer coats, hats, bonnets, cloaks,
And every kind of raiment-

Ulsters and capes that one time draped
The forms of family members-
Those were the rage in the good old days
Of Brookings, Slades, and Bremners.
 

I found kid gloves and fancy vests,
And all the other necessaries,
With beaver hats and pearl gray spats,
To make up the accessories,

From this outmodel finery
I made a grand selection
And when my costume was complete
My guise defied detection.

But alas; before I reached the door
My new born courage failed me,
My knees began to tremble,
And the same old doubts assailed me,

So I decided to prepare
With sugar and hot water
A parting shot, sweet, strong, and hot,
Of my good friend Johnny Walker.
 

Thus fortified I sailied forth
Quite nonchalant and smiling,
I felt as good as any man
Inside of Admiral's Island,

And everywhere from house to house,
My welcome was quite hearty-
That night I was an honoured guest
At many a Christmas party
 

Now as a rule I don't play bridge,
The game with panic fills me,
I must confess I can't finesse,
And the shocking silence kills me,

But when you're "In" with Lady Luck,
To know the game is needless,
I made a slam in a no trump hand,
And left the foursome speechless.
 

I next joined friends who were singing gems
From a popular operetta,
And to disguise my baritone
I faked a high falsetto,

When they failed to recognize my voice
My spirits grew ecstatic,
And I sang "The Star of Logy Bay"
As though it were a classic.
 

A little later on I met
A group of merry dancers,
"You're just in time" they greeted me,
We need one more for lancers

Although I hadn't danced in years
(I never was gymnastic)
With a lady fair I'd admire for years
I tripped the light fantastic.
 

So thus it went I played and sang,
I danced with gay abandon,
And whispers as to who I was
Were hazarded at random,

But quick as one would guess a name,
Another one would veto,
And though it all I'm proud that I
Preserved my Incognito.